So you find yourself in a relationship on the verge of making a life-altering decision. Perhaps, you're planning a wedding, thinking of having a baby, or contemplating purchasing a home together.  You're excited about taking this step together because it symbolizes your commitment to one another.  Everything isn't exactly as you would like it to  be but whose relationship is perfect anyway? You're confident that once you take this step together things will get better. Otherwise, why would the two of you be moving in the same direction, right?

PAUSE.

Before you move forward ask yourselves, "What if this is as good as it gets?"  If the relationship stays the way it is now even after taking that huge step, will that be okay? Will you be content?

Too often, couples find themselves years into a ...

Read more

WHO ARE YOU INDEPENDENT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

As a relationship therapist, I often witness people struggling to balance autonomy and coupledom. 

I empathize with them--relationships are tough!

It doesn’t help that our culture consistently feeds us the Jerry Maguire, “You Complete Me,” myth. 

We see it in movies, read it in books, hear it in our music. 

Wherever we turn, we’re fed the belief that someone “out there” will come into our lives and fill our void. 

Read more

One of the most common complaints I hear as a couples therapist is about the lack of passion in relationships, especially, long-term relationships.

There is often a great deal of love, respect, and admiration, but the fire has dwindled.

Couples don't just want more sex, they want more passionate sex.

My heart goes out to them as they struggle to understand how this happens when they still find themselves in love and happy with their partner, but the thrill is gone.

Most often they have resigned to the belief that it is impossible to maintain passion & eroticism in a long-term relationship.  And although it's true that relationships will change over time, eroticism & passion do not have to disappear.

Over the next few weeks, I will give some tips on how to begin reigniting the flames ...

Read more