As a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in relationships & sexuality, I have the privilege of helping people on a regular basis overcome relationship conflict & sexual challenges.
Hands down, I have the best job ever…next to Beyonce, of course.
But, seriously, helping people overcome traumas, shame, emotional/physical pain that keep them from having healthy relationships & pleasurable sex is a pretty awesome gig.
I often take for granted how much “insider” information I have about the two topics. And, although, on just about every social media stream we can find tips on “How to Know If Your Partner Thinks You’re The One” or “The Best Adult Toys to Boost Your Sex Life” there’s one important secret that they rarely reveal or go into detail about.
I'm sharing that secret with you today.
Can you guess what that is?
Self-care is the foundation for erotic, mutually-satisfying, pleasurable sex!
But you thought self-care was all about bubble baths & spa visits, right?
Who has time for that when you’re as busy as you are, right?
Isn’t there a pill that can just help boost your libido?
Well, maybe you don’t need a pill…maybe you just need some good ole' unapologetic self-care.
Self-care is the ongoing practice of monitoring your body, mind, and spirit to ensure you’re balanced & aligned.
It is knowing how to stop & read your body’s cues when that tension in your shoulders has increased, it's noticing & stopping the thoughts running through your mind that keep telling you you’re not doing a good enough job, the tug at your heart to find a career that is more satisfying.
Self-care is the practice of stopping throughout the day to just sit still for 1 minute, breathe, and feel the ground under your feet, asking yourself, “Am I good right now?”
Self-care is about ensuring you eat breakfast, lunch, dinner…not in your car, not at your desk, not mindlessly in front of the TV.
And what does all this have to do with sex?
Wel...it has everything to do with sex because this strong foundation allows for you to be in a balanced state that is ready to give/receive pleasure.
You feel good in your body.
Your mind & spirit feel at ease.
This allows you to release, explore, and enjoy sexual pleasure.
It also trains you to incorporate self-pleasure & body awareness into your self-care monitoring routine.
You begin taking care of your body, looking at it in the mirror, taking note of what you appreciate, exploring your body - noting what sensations, textures, scents, temperatures it responds to pleasurably.
All of this information & self-, body-awareness allow for you to advocate for your pleasure.
You’re able to communicate to your partner what brings your body pleasure.
You're able to engage in a mutually-satisfying sexual experience.
I mean, who doesn't want that?!
But here's the truth.
Sex without self-care IS possible and can be good.
But sex when you regularly practice unapologetic self-care is an EXPERIENCE.
It's an energetic exchange of erotic and sexual energy.
So if you want to take your pleasure to the next level then get serious about your self-care embodying the notion that Self-Care is Sexy!
DISCLAIMER: THE RELATIONSHIP & SEXUAL WELLNESS CENTER blog is not intended to be a substitute for legal, ethical or medical consultation or for treatment and is strictly for educational and entertainment purposes. Nothing found on the website or email is a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.